Identity Check: Who Are You These Days?

Who are you, anyway? This is a little meme going around on social and I think it’s a fun one. More seriously, though, who are you these days? Are you a version of yourself that, like the meme above suggests, is friendly, open, playful, curious and taking advantage of little moments? Or are you a less enjoyable version of yourself?

As I was sipping on a cup of tea the other day, I realized that somehow, somewhere along the way, I’d become a “tea person.” Like, I have a whole shelf of tea at home, and drink tea nearly every day. Current favorites are roasted dandelion root (yep, it’s as bitter and weird as it sounds), raspberry leaf and the-mossier-the-better green. But if you’d asked me even just a few years ago, I would have said “nope, not a tea drinker.”

How does this happen? When does a part of our identity change? For something that I consider less critical, like beverage preference, it probably doesn’t warrant too much attention. When big pieces of our identity shift, though, it’s worth some introspection.

I’ve seen people dear to me descend into unrecognizable versions of themselves, consumed by addiction or anger or bitterness. These types of changes are always unfortunate to watch. Often, they seem unconsciously driven, and are reactions to pain or are a symptom of a loss of hope and purpose.

I’ve also been witness to so many of my clients as well as my personal connections shift into braver, more kind, more thoughtful versions of themselves. These types of changes are beautiful to watch, and often seem to be driven deliberately, by a search for meaning purpose and connection. Of note, none of them had life any easier than the group who descended into pain, they just handled it differently.

If you’re game, do a quick assessment. Where have you become something different than expected? Maybe it’s as little as becoming a tea drinker, maybe it is much, much larger. DO you consider it a positive identity shift? Negative? Neutral? Anything you’d like to shift?

I’d love to hear your story.