Exploring Shared Lessons in Skiing and Aikido

A week ago Friday I had a very interesting experience. I sucked at 2 sports in the same day.

Really, I was terrible at both things.

Friday morning, I went skiing and had a rough day of it. I was wobbly and out of breath and

couldn’t seem to get the basic mechanics down.

Friday evening, I went to an Aikido class and had a blast. I was wobbly and out of breath and

couldn’t seem to get the basic mechanics down.

Why was I so forgiving of myself and even proud about the Aikido, but berating myself on the ski

slope? Now I didn’t do a total face plant in the Aikido class like I did skiing (ouch!) and Aikido

wasn’t conducted at 13,000 feet (A-Basin is really up there) but other than that the experiences

were very similar. What wasn’t similar, however, were my expectations of myself for both

activities. You see, I’ve never stepped foot on an Aikido mat before, and except for one strange

class of karate which I despised as a kid, I’ve never done any martial arts before. Skiing, on the

other hand, I’ve been doing for nearly 30 years.

My expectation of myself for Aikido was to try something new, be curious and open, and try my

best, even if my best was uncoordinated, clunky and slow, which I was all of those things. My

expectation of myself for skiing is to be excellent, skillful and graceful, yet I had a hard time

getting there that day. Interestingly, the more open and curious and playful I was at Aikido, the

better I did. The more critical, unkind and tense I got skiing, the worse I did.

Funny how our brains work. When we get attached to an outcome and have rigid expectations

we tend to feel badly and do poorly. When we are in a state of open curiosity, life is a lot more

fun. Let’s set ourselves up for success this year and deliberately approach our lives with more

curiosity, open-mindedness, joy and flexibility.

One way to facilitate setting ourselves up for a positive life is to be deliberate about creating that

life. So how is that workbook I sent you last month coming along? It’s ok if you haven’t completed it yet,

but I really encourage you to consider doing so. The workbook is designed to help you identify

your values for the year and then match those values to actions to get you closer to achieving

your goals. Let me know what values are most important to you this year and what your goals

are, I’d love to support your aspirations. Here’s to a fabulous 2024 for you!